✎ YUKOKI
Asonix's Lair;
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jellovert:

when the potion seller won’t sell you his strongest potions
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The Blackmail Brony Network: The evil empire that almost was ▷

cyrilthewolf:

horsenews:

dadio46:

cyrilthewolf:

fimmusic:

ponies-against-bronies:

horsenews:

"Hi, wanna be our bitch for 7 percent revenue share?"
Blackmail. 
Extortion.
Cuntfacedness.

In the world of pony media, there are different levels and groups of people. There’s the Sethistos who have real power and don’t give a shit, there’s the Drafts who have no real power and are crazy about it, and there’s the HNs who are just here for the booze. Recently, a new mutation on pony media tried to lodge itself into the fandom, like a tumor, sucking off the healthy (in our case we’ll put quotes around “healthy”) cells around it. It’s name “The Pony News Network” or “PNN” (Or “Brony Network” depending on the day).

What have they done? Not as much as they want to do if you don’t stop them now.



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So what exactly IS the “Pony Network”? To put it simply; it’s a pyramid scheme that only exists to try and make money off of ad revenue by leeching off of existing pony fan’s Youtube accounts, in exchange for being part of the “Brony Network”. All of that would be fine…if it weren’t a total sham.
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The “Brony Network" aka The Pony Network, aka PNN, started up just a few months ago. Their main Youtube account has a grand total of 24 followers. Their main twitter account has…8 followers. And their “news” site has exactly one post made on it since July. 

So, now you’re wondering why Horse News CARES about what is clearly a failure of a project. For lack of a better term, because of the extortion and blackmail allegedly taking place behind the scenes, and according to a source who was contacted about the startup, because the owner of BronyNetwork is attempting to gain a “monopoly over the fandom”.
 Also the fact that the people behind it are trying to both edge out and simultaneously partner up with the likes of Everfree Network and Ponyville Live (both of whom have reportedly rejected them due to shadiness). 
The Pony Network came to EFN and PVL offering “partnerships” to work together to share ad revenue generated by pony youtube videos. They are reportedly a subset of "Showcase Edit" which does the exact same thing but on a larger scale. Now, anyone who has ever tried to monetize youtube knows that ad revenue is virtually zilch anyway. But PN wants to divide the profits with a tiny fraction going to the partners, a fraction going to themselves, and another chunk going to Showcase Edit.
They were turned down, because why would any account with ~30 Thousand subscribers share ad revenue with a “network” that only has 24 subscribers? Yeah even Draft isn’t THAT stupid. 
So who WOULD join up with this “Youtube Network”.
Well apparently Brony Aerospace who has “shit on everybody” “enough to blackmail them into partnering”. That’s right folks, the Brony Network plans on using the people at Brony Aerospace to BLACKMAIL youtubers into joining the network and giving up big percentages of their ad revenue.
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But don’t just take our word for it, have a listen to some recordings of an actual skype call with the head of the Brony Network "BronySinc". (This recording was made in a one-party consent state, meaning that only one of the people in the call needed to know it was being recorded).
The full recording is too long (~an hour) so we spared you a lot of awkward silence and mundane shit.

"Brony Aerospace has enough contacts to get us the big big Youtubers. Basically they have shit on everybody and that’s enough to blackmail them into partnering with us." - BronySinc

Seriously.
This is what is taking place.

"Basically hold a monopoly on all the fandoms in the world"

That is some evil empire level shit right there.

Along with that We have founding partner Omnipony. Well we don’t officially have him, there’s a dirty deal going right now and we’re gonna get him.”

Jesus, this guy has never heard of subtlety or tact has he?

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So there you have it folks, damning evidence of almost unheard of levels of underhanded bullshit. Blackmailing Omnipony? Trying to conquer “all the fandoms in the world”? All for the MONEY no less? And clearly BronyAerospace is just as much to blame here as the rest.

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Who else is in on this treacherous guild? Apparently Raborn, the convention chair for DerpyCon South, who recently had a dispute over recording between PNN and PVL. It is unknown how many bronies and groups are in on the conspiracy, but we do know that they were rejected by PVL. Apparently Silver Eagle was NOT willing to be their “bitch for 7 percent revenue share”.

We do not know what is being used to blackmail Omni (~44 Thousand Subscribers) into joining this group, but we do wish him the best luck.

To Derpycon South, Brony Aerospace, and The Brony Network at large: you’ve been caught.

To the fandom at large: do not let the cancerous likes of these people take your fandom from you.

holy fucking shit guys

Zoikees! And they would have gotten away with it if its wasn’t for those meddling reporters!

Is this even really real

Horse News is usually satire, but from time to time they do some actual good stuff. This looks like one of those actual “give a shit” times, but I am not for sure on this. Don’t take my word for this, but this may actually be true. My thoughts, not yours.

We’ve been informed that the recording of the call has been taken down from Vocaroo, so the audio will be reuploaded elsewere for those who were not able to listen to it originally. 

To answer your question Cyril, we did not fabricate this story.

I know ya’ll didn’t fabricate it. I just find it completely ridiculous. Also wanted to encourage some research from my following.

Also didn’t mean to imply you made this one up.

omg omg omg omg omg lol

anfael:

It turns out Chakat society has adapted and solved a great many problems with innovative solutions

rocketbeagle0:

depression doesn’t make you cool, edgy or deep. it doesn’t make you more attractive or dramatic. it makes you fucking depressed.

darvinasafo:

Spike Lee’s memorial for Eric Garner

smasher64:

falcon-hyes:

it-started-to-rain:

I think my dash did a thing…

Armada vs Hungrybox

cool guys dont look at explosions~

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

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  • start a boy band:

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  • spot some choice booty:

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  • break into song:

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  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

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  • attend a metal show:

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  • listen to some sick jams:

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  • discover zombieism:

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  • sample some tasty snacks:

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  • watch someone get burned bad:

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  • find something you really like:

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  • find something you really, really like:

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  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

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  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

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dutchster:

i’m glad bo shares my thought on this

marshmellowcannibalart:

ponycycle said: Celestia in #12?

I hope you enjoy her toothpaste mane

alpha-brony:

ukej:

need i say more

I also heard that boys who play with girls’ dolls turn out to be better fathers on average.

toxicrants:

actionables:

osamabenladenofficial:

actionables:

hmm, yoga is kind of girly #nohomo
let’s rename it so it sounds manlier and make it just for the bros
for the bros only

It’s crazy how some feminists get mad when men take something stereotypically feminine and turn it into a new branch to incite more men to do it. Like good for them, they’re helping men stay healthy, what’s the problem with that?

listen here sweetie

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Yoga was never, and will never be stereotypically feminine.

i.e another example of straight men going ‘YUCKY WOMEN HAVE TOUCHED IT. CAN’T DO THAT WITHOUT BEING GAY. ADD BRO INTO THE TITLE SOMEWHERE AND THEN WE CAN TALK’.